Wallah asfa 6awalt 3leeekm. Sam7oony ;**
I've been a bit sick. Bs el7mdelah I'm all better now.
I missed you all !
I missed you all !!!! ;''''''(
7awooooooooooriii !! <3
Nawariiiiii <3
Cherri Muffin <3
Zaaaaaaaaaain <3
Identity <3
Standy <3
Bluelillies <3
Geraninium <3
Looyah <3
AND ALL OF YOU !!!
The first 5 of you rarely comment anymore !!!
and 7awooor 7beebety I know im not commenting like I used to !!
But im still reading and am addicted like CRAZY !!
I will start commenting and responding to comments too !!!
Im sorryyyyyyyyyy !!!
Bs these days ma feeni 7ail asawi shay !
Im sure you guys know how that is right ?
The first five bloggers I MISS YOU !! WHERE ARE YOU !!
ILY ALL SO MUCH !!! ;******************
Jenah: Hend ??
Msh3al: Bader ??
Jenah: You go first..
Msh3al: Ladies first..
Jenah: I went to see him today BUT ONLY because he's left several messages. And umm...
Msh3al: What ?
Jenah: He's still in love with me..
Msh3al: Do you still love him ?
Jenah: No !
Msh3al: Jen ...
Jenah: I dont ok! I dont! I love you! Now what about Hend ?
Msh3al: She stopped by my office. She tried to... you know. But I didn't let her.
Jenah: So now what ?
Msh3al: Now... now we get a divorce.
Jenah: You can't be serious ?
Msh3al: 7beebty I want you to be happy..
Jenah: I'm haooy with you !
Msh3al: I know 7beebty, bs Bader would make you much more happier. I saw the look in your eyes when I asked if yo still loved him.
Jenah: What so your just gonna give up on us ?
Msh3al: If you think I'm upset, I'm not. Bel3ax I've been thinking about it for a while now. I love you so much Jenah and I always will but I have to let you go. You belong with him.
Jenah: I cant believe these words are coming out for your mouth...
Msh3al: Can you honestly tell me you dont love him ?
Jenah: What about Nouf ?
Msh3al: She'll be fine as long as her mothers fine.
Jenah: But I am fine!
Msh3al: Ha2! I want you to be happy not fine.
Jenah: Wow you've really thought this through...
Msh3al: Aham shay 3ndi Jenah is your happiness...
Did he really mean what he said ?
At first I thought he was making fun of the whole thing. But then his words started to hit me.
This was it !
My key !
I was finaly going to be with Bader !
Ofcourse I loved Msh3al but Bader... ahhhhhhh Bader !!
The divorce was finalized in two days.
The only problem is.. Bader wasn't picking up.
I even stopped by his place but no one would answer. I guess he was out of town or something.
Thank god Msh3al gave me full custody of Nouf. He also gave me the house, and bought a smaller house a few minutes away from mine. Still he would be apart of Nouf's life and get to see her whenever she wanted. I always thought that if I ever got divorced it would be horrible. Me and my husband fighting all the time. But this was going to work. I could easily tell that Msh3al and I were going to be good friends.
I knew he still loved me. But he was willing to let me go and move on. He was willing to lose his happiness to give me mine.
A week after the divorce I finaly contacted Bader. He was away with a couple of friends.
I asked him to come over so we could talk. He didnt hesitate and rushed right over.
Bader: I don't believe it...
Me: Me neither.. but it is what it is.
Bader: Is he ok ?
Me: He wanted this for me. For us.
Bader: I don't know Jenah...
Me: But now we can finaly be together. After all this time.
Bader: I can't do this to Msh3al.
Me: That didn't stop you before.
Bader: Then was diffirent. I hurt him once, I can't hurt him again.
Me: Bader.. I just got a divorce.
Bader: I know. And if that makes you happy then I'm happy for you. But I can't be with you. As much as it kills me to say.. I just can't.
Me: I really wish I was deaf right now.
Bader: Jenah ---
Me: NO! What about last week? When you said you still loved me? Was it just a in the moment thing?
Bader: Nothing with you is ever a moment thing. Everything with you is all real.
Me: So then what Bader WHAT ? I love you so much GOD I've wanted to say that for such a long time. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU !!! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS !
Bader: Jenah stop acting insane please !!
Me: How could you be so cold !
Bader: Let's face reality Jenah. Us, me and you, it can't ever happen.
Me: Get out of my house.
Bader: Don't be foolish. Let's talk about this.
Me: I really don't want my temper to rise. Get out of my house!
And that was the last I ever saw of Bader.
He broke my heart.
When he walked out those doors, I lost apart of me. Apart of me he took with him.
He left me cold and weak inside.
Why did he do this to me ?
Was I not what he wanted ?
Was I just a fun little game ?
Did he even love me at all ?
TWO YEARS LATER...
