The rain drops trickled down the window behind me. I felt the cold through the back of my head, filling my body. I was cold. It was such a cold place; an eerie place. The hard hospital chairs were aching my back and thigh muscles. I got up to stretch my legs. I couldn't handle the thought of sitting while he was in there, on the operating table.
Bader was in surgery.
My Bader.
I couldn't believe it.
We were just on the phone a few minutes ago, and then ....
Just thinking about it makes me naucious.
I wanted so bad to run in there and hold his hand. Alot of crazy thoughts were going through my head that time.
Any second now and I would to rush into the OR and scream!
I was scared, terrified that he may not make it.
What if something happend to him ? I mean this time he got lucky. But what about next time ?
I'm still so angry at him. He was in the middle of the street, he should have seen the car coming his way.
Also in a way I blame Msh3al. He could have told Bader to move out of the way. And at times I actualy think that Msh3al intended for Bader to get hit. Maybe I was being a bit paranoid, I don't know.
But all I know is that I have to see Bader soon. It's been two hours since they first took him in. I kept thinking about what they were doing in there. Was he hurt? No, cause then I remembered the gas.
Millions of unpleasant thoughts were rushing through my head. I just couldn't seem to think positive. I mean I don't know what I would have done if anything had happend to him.
I was going mad inside my head. Any second now and it would expolode.
Morning arrived and I woke up to the smell of fresh black american coffee in Msh3als hands.
Msh3al: Hala bl gamar...
Me: Mu wagtek abadan !
I pulled myself aggresively off the chair and started looking for a nurse.
Msh3al: Jenah sit down, eat something, your body's empty.... your pale !
Me: BAS ETRKNY EB 7ALI !
I then finaly found a nurse leaving a patients room. I hurried up to her.
Me: Excuse me, hi. I'm a friend of Bader Al - Flani.. could you pkease tell me which room they put him in. I fell asleep in the waiting room so...
The nurse escourted me into Bader's room.
First I took a deep breath then slowly walked in.
7ayati he was so helpless.. I couldn't.. I didin't want to see him like this. It literlay broke my heart. I just wanted to rush over to him and hold him in my arms.
He was lying there with a cast around his leg.
Scratches all over his face.
I was standing too far away to see what else had happend.
So I pulled a chari close to his bed side and sat. I wanted to remain that way for as long as it took, until I see those beautidul eyes look into mine again.
So there I was waiting and waiting.. hour after hour.
Msh3al kept begging me to come back home with him but I would continously refuse. I didn't want to leave Bader. I wanted to be the first thing he see's once he wakes up.
Msh3al said he would go back home to shower and rest. He would later be back the next day to check in.
He wasnt worriesd, knowing how I have this incontrolable act of helping others when their in need.
I was exhausted too, and wanted nothing more than to lay in my soft bed and drift off to sleep. But I couldn't. Not if Bader was like this.
If I were to sleep, it would be my head on his bedside.
If I were to eat it would be from the vending machine out in the hall.
If I were to shower, it would just be me using a wet cloth to wipe my forehead.
I didn't care. All I cared about was for Bader to get better.
I was putting his health before mine.
I wished I could take all the pain he was feelig and put it in me instead. He did not deserve this.
Nurse: Miss visiting hours are over.
Me: Oh no please no.. I'm staying the night.
Nurse: He's in real critical condition..
Me: I dont care please just let me stay the night.. PLEASE !
Nurse: Alright fine Miss... have a goodnight.
There was nothing else to do but wait.
I was in that tiny room just roaming around, my arms were crossed and all I kept on doing was praying to God for him. "Ya rab gawamo bl salamah"
Finaly I decided to give myself a break. I sat back on the chair and rested my head on Bader's bed side. I dozed off so fast, that's how tired I was. Up for five hours pacing around the room just waiting for him to wake up.
El 7mdelah he wasn't in a coma but just in a deep sleep. He would be awake soon said the nurse before she left the room.
At 12 el thohor the next day I got a light tap on the top of my head.
With a sudden shock I woke up to find Bader's eyes opend. There he was. He was looking straight at me. Those big beautiful eyes were looking into mine. I couldn't believe it!
He tapped twice on the bed signiling me to get in with him.
I got in and he put his left arm around me, his right hand was cupped on one side of my face.
He looked pale and so tired. It broke my heart seeing him like this.
Bader: Your here...
Me: I thought I lost you.
I started to tear up.
Bader: You could never lose me.
Me: How are you feeling ?
Bader: Having you in my arms.. I'm immune to absolutley anything.
Me: And you better stay immune !
Bader: Haha wla tz3aly..
Me: I thought I'd lost you, you know ?
Bader: It happend alls of a sudden Jenah. One minute I was talking to Msh3al, then the next...
Me: Answer me honestley, did he push you ?
Bader: No no ofcourse not ! Dont think that !
Me: Then I don't get it...
Bader: Yarabiii.. as I was on my way out of the house he was following me accusing me of the fight that broke out between you two. He though I told you. So we started arguing, and my car was across the street. I was crossing but then in th emiddle I stopped to tell him something then the next thing I know.. I end up here at the hospital.
Me: I'm just so happy your safe. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you...
Bader: You will never lose me. I will never let that happen. 5ala9 your apart of me Jenah. I love you.
Bad timing or what?
Just as he said those three little words, Msh3al walked in.
He was there this whole time listening to the words Bader and I were saying to eachother.
We both froze in our place as Msh3al walked in, put down the vase of flowers on the table and came towards us.
I could actualy see his vains popping out. I was so afraid. I've never seen him this upset before.
Msh3al: 7mdelah 3ala el salamah..
Bader: Allah yslmik...
Msh3al: Now if your done charming my wife, I'd like to take her home.
Me: Msh3al don't start please.. the guy's just woken up..
Msh3al: Yet he seems fully energized to hold you in his arms.
Bader: I'm sorry...
Msh3al: For what ? For loving my wife ? Hey I don't blame you...
Me: Is that supposed to be a joke or something?
Msh3al turned around and started to walk towards the door to leave.
Me: Now where are you going ?
Msh3al: You've got a decision to make Jenah. Let me know when you do.
Me: Well what if I cant ?
Msh3al: Well then I'll make it for you.
He walked out leaving me and Bader staring into deep space.
Bader: What do we do now ?
Me: I dont know about you but I'm up for a nice hot shower.
Bader: Jenah I'm seriouse.
Me: Yeah I am too.
Bader: This can't keep going on like this...
Me: I know.. but I like things the way they are.
Bader: Are you hearing yourself right now ?
Me: Pretty clear.
Bader: 7beebty you know this cant keep going on forever.
Me: Im not saying forever.. I'm just saying... hey wait.. this isnt any of your buisness ok! Just leave me alone.
Bader: I'm only trying to protect you. Even if you dont choose me I will understand. He's your husband. All I want is for you to be happy.
Me: Yeah well I dont know what I want anymore. So just stop it !
Bader: *sigh*Could you call the nurse in for me..
Me: Why what's wrong ?
Bader: I think the pain killers are starting to wear off...
Me: Yeah sure...
What the hell was his problem !
Thats all I kept thinking during my shower.
This is my life and I get to do whatever I want whenever I want.
Y3ni wsh ybeeni asawi ? Ma agdar aqarer.. is it my fault two amazing men are in my lives and I'm in love with both of them? No. This happened beyond my controle. And if I could turn back time and change it all I would...
But unfortunatley this is reality...
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
The Other Man 13
My world's turned upside down.
I didn't know what to do.
How could I stay in the same house as him ?
Yet how could I judge him when I was doing the exact same thing to him ?
But this is diffirent I love...
Yeah, that's when I realized I loved Bader.
I never thought I could ever love anyone but Msh3al.
Somehow he found a way into my heart.
I guess you could even say he stole it away from Msh3al.
But why did I have to realize my feelings for him after he's betrayed me ?
I fell into a black whole.
Sob7an Allah..
Nawal called me on my way back home.
I asked if I could spend a couple of days with her.
I told her everything. And I mean everything.
About Bader. About Msh3al.
My feelings.
Everything.
She calmed me down. She always did.
So for the next week I was with Nawal.
I swtiched off my phone.
Both Bader and Msh3al would call Nawal's cell but we wouldn't pick up.
They's message but we would'nt reply.
What was I to say to them ?
I didn't know what to say to them.
I wasn't ready to face either one of them.
After a week of avoiding them.
I decided it was time to pull myself out of the bubble I was in.
My first call was to Bader.
I wsn't ready to face him just yet.
Bader: I wanted to tell you.. ma t9adgeen shkthr bs I couldn't betray Msh3al.
Me: Oh so it was ok to betray me ?
Bader: No.. that's not what I ment...
Me: So then tell me. Why was it so hard for you to tell me ?
Bader: Because if anyone was going to hurt you I wanted it to be him. I didn't want to be the one to cause you pain. I didn't want to tell you and have you cry infront of me from something he's done. I didn't want to see a tear fall infront of my eyes from him.
Me: Bader I...
Bader: This killed me so much. Being around you. Seeing you smile.. not knowing what was going on.
Me: So you knew about this the whole time ?
Bader: I found out a while ago.
Me: I don't know what to do Bader.. I'm so confused...
Bader: Do whatever makes you happy.. I can't decide for you.
Me: I'm scared...
Bader: Min esh 7beebty?
Me: Everything...
Bader: Jenah...
Me: Hmm ?
Bader: Can I see you ?
Me: I have to see Msh3al first...
Bader: Oh... right...
Me: Yeah...
Bader: I think I'm gonna go now..
Me: Wain ?
Bader: Out...
Me: Oh...
Bader: Yallah bye.
Me: .... Bye
I felt bad.
I could sense he was sad and upset.
I felt so guilty.
But why should I be ?
He was the other man.
I had no reason to right?
I guess wrong... I loved him.
Hearing him down broke me into a tiny little pieces.
I called Msh3al next...
But he didn't pick up.
Once, twice, no answer.
He'd call me back.
Maybe he was busy with work.
It was noon time.
So yeah he was busy...
Just as Bader was on his way out he got a surprise knock on the door.
Msh3al: You just had to tell her. You couldn't keep it to yourself could you ?!!
Bader: I didn't say anything !
Msh3al: Are you seriously going to stand onfront of my face and lie to me ?!!
Bader: Msh3al of all the years I've known you.. why would I lie ?
Msh3al: Mdri 3anik !
Bader: I didn't say a word !
He walked passed Msh3al and made his way out of his house.
He walked across the street, till' he stopped in the middle to look back at Msh3al.
Bader: You brought this on yourself Msh3al. Your wife isn't an ideot. You took her for granted.
Msh3al: I ended it.
Bader: Now? After she found out ?
Msh3al: I wanna make it right with Jenah. You have no idea how much I love her Badoor.
Bader: I don't know what ----
Msh3al: BADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR !!! BADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR !!! BADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR !!!
I didn't know what to do.
How could I stay in the same house as him ?
Yet how could I judge him when I was doing the exact same thing to him ?
But this is diffirent I love...
Yeah, that's when I realized I loved Bader.
I never thought I could ever love anyone but Msh3al.
Somehow he found a way into my heart.
I guess you could even say he stole it away from Msh3al.
But why did I have to realize my feelings for him after he's betrayed me ?
I fell into a black whole.
Sob7an Allah..
Nawal called me on my way back home.
I asked if I could spend a couple of days with her.
I told her everything. And I mean everything.
About Bader. About Msh3al.
My feelings.
Everything.
She calmed me down. She always did.
So for the next week I was with Nawal.
I swtiched off my phone.
Both Bader and Msh3al would call Nawal's cell but we wouldn't pick up.
They's message but we would'nt reply.
What was I to say to them ?
I didn't know what to say to them.
I wasn't ready to face either one of them.
After a week of avoiding them.
I decided it was time to pull myself out of the bubble I was in.
My first call was to Bader.
I wsn't ready to face him just yet.
Bader: I wanted to tell you.. ma t9adgeen shkthr bs I couldn't betray Msh3al.
Me: Oh so it was ok to betray me ?
Bader: No.. that's not what I ment...
Me: So then tell me. Why was it so hard for you to tell me ?
Bader: Because if anyone was going to hurt you I wanted it to be him. I didn't want to be the one to cause you pain. I didn't want to tell you and have you cry infront of me from something he's done. I didn't want to see a tear fall infront of my eyes from him.
Me: Bader I...
Bader: This killed me so much. Being around you. Seeing you smile.. not knowing what was going on.
Me: So you knew about this the whole time ?
Bader: I found out a while ago.
Me: I don't know what to do Bader.. I'm so confused...
Bader: Do whatever makes you happy.. I can't decide for you.
Me: I'm scared...
Bader: Min esh 7beebty?
Me: Everything...
Bader: Jenah...
Me: Hmm ?
Bader: Can I see you ?
Me: I have to see Msh3al first...
Bader: Oh... right...
Me: Yeah...
Bader: I think I'm gonna go now..
Me: Wain ?
Bader: Out...
Me: Oh...
Bader: Yallah bye.
Me: .... Bye
I felt bad.
I could sense he was sad and upset.
I felt so guilty.
But why should I be ?
He was the other man.
I had no reason to right?
I guess wrong... I loved him.
Hearing him down broke me into a tiny little pieces.
I called Msh3al next...
But he didn't pick up.
Once, twice, no answer.
He'd call me back.
Maybe he was busy with work.
It was noon time.
So yeah he was busy...
Just as Bader was on his way out he got a surprise knock on the door.
Msh3al: You just had to tell her. You couldn't keep it to yourself could you ?!!
Bader: I didn't say anything !
Msh3al: Are you seriously going to stand onfront of my face and lie to me ?!!
Bader: Msh3al of all the years I've known you.. why would I lie ?
Msh3al: Mdri 3anik !
Bader: I didn't say a word !
He walked passed Msh3al and made his way out of his house.
He walked across the street, till' he stopped in the middle to look back at Msh3al.
Bader: You brought this on yourself Msh3al. Your wife isn't an ideot. You took her for granted.
Msh3al: I ended it.
Bader: Now? After she found out ?
Msh3al: I wanna make it right with Jenah. You have no idea how much I love her Badoor.
Bader: I don't know what ----
Msh3al: BADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR !!! BADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR !!! BADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR !!!
Monday, January 25, 2010
The Other Man 12
Me: Badoor you with me ?
Bader: Eeh 7beebty I'm sorry.
Me: You ok ?
Bader: I just didn't get much sleep last night.
Me: We could cut lunch short is you want.
Bader: La la ofcourse not. I haven't seen you in a long time.
Me: Are you sure nothing's bothering you ?
Bader: 7beebty don't worry. You know if there is I would tell you straight away.
Me: I hope so...
He's been acting realy weird around me.
Not focusing when I'd talk.
He would try not to look directly at my eyes.
Sometimes he's even stutter when he talked.
How could lack of sleep do this to someone ?
I haven't herd of anything like it before.
I sensed something was wrong, but I didnt want to force it out of him.
I wanted him to want to tell me.
Didn't want to be forceful.
Plus Msh3al had been acting a bit strange around me aswell.
Were they both up to something? I had no clue.
I reached a point where I couldn't take it anymore.
So I decided to confront Msh3al.
Msh3al: Why would you think something's wrong ?
Me: You and Bader have been acting really strange around me latley.
Msh3al: When have you seen Bader ?
Me: Uhhh... he'd sometimes drop by to see you .... you wouldnt be here... so...
Msh3al: Ah ok. La wallah 7ayati mafi shay.
Me: Should I ask him or stick with you ?
Msh3al: *siiiiiiiiiiiigh*
Me: I'm waiting...
Msh3al: Well...
Me: Yes...
Msh3al: We lost a client thats all..
Me: But what's that got to do with me ?
Msh3al: I dunno why he's acting off but I'm just upset about it..
Me: Aha...
I didnt believe him, not for one second.
A client ? Really ? I'm not that dumb..
Fine, I said to myself.
When their both ready, they'll tell me.
A Week Later...
Msh3al was being distant, too distant.
He wouldn't even carry on a conversation with me.
Was it something I did ? Say ?
I started questioning myself, feeling like utter trash.
Did he find out about me and Bader?
I was going insane.
Should I confront him ?
What if I did ? Then it turns out he didnt know after all.
I talked to Nawal, as always.
She said I should just sit Msh3al down and have a talk with him.
So I did.
He was out of the house already. And when I called his cell it went directley to voicemail.
I left like four messages but he still didn't call me back. I was starting to get worried.
This wasn't him. He'd never divert his calls to voicemail. By now he'd be home.
Dinner was always prepared at nine, which is when he's be home.
But for the week that past we havent had a decent meal together.
It got late, really late.
I searched through his phone book which he keeps next to his bedside table.
I found his secretary's number and dialed.
Me: Hey Rana this is Msh3al's wife Jenah.
Rana: Oh hey how are you ?
Me: I'm fine. And yourself ?
Rana: Tamam. Is something wrong ?
Me: Oh no no. Umm.. it's just that Msh3al isn't home yet. I hoped you would know where he was. I know it's late but I didnt know who else to call.
Rana: No it's ok. I was up anyways. Ummm.. when I left the office he was with a client. That's the last I saw of him.
Me: Was he finishing up or...
Rana: I don't know really. He told me not to disturb him so I'm guessing it was pretty important.
Me: Aha and when did you leave the office ?
Rana: At around 8:30.
Me: Strange. He should be back by now.
Rana: Don't worry I'm sure he'll be home soon.
Me: I hope so.
Rana: Are you ok ?
Me: Yeah I'm fine... it's just that we haven't sat down to a decent meal in a long time. I'm starting to miss him thats all.
Rana: Mashel 7alik.. he's been really swamped with work latley. A new client and all. Seriouse case.
Me: He got that account along time ago.
Rana: No this is a new client. Apparentley this women's ex husband is out to take everything she has.. money, cars, you name it. It's a shame what anger can do to a person.
Me: Yeah... what a shame. So he's been working late hours alot with this women ?
Rana: Like I said he's swamped, he's see her at the end of the day after he's done.
Me: Intresting... Do you think he'll be there now ?
Rana: I'm not sure.
Me: Ok then thank you so much Rana. Have a good night!
Late hours she says huh ?
I wanted to see just how late.
So I decided to make a surprise visit to see my Msh3al.
Swamped ?
How swamped.. to not call his wife to tell her he can't make it home for dinner.
I barged into his office.
There I stood.
Standing there.
Humiliated.
My husband. And his.... uh.. mistress ?
I saw them both all over eachother.
She was sitting on his lap with her arms all over him.
His lips were on hers.
Those lips I once kissed and craved more than anything in the world.
Were taken from me by some other women.
Msh3al: Jenah... wa5ryyy !!!
Me: Oh now you pull her off you ? Wow... I'll tell the maid to get the guestroom prepared for you.
Msh3al: Jenah wait ! *running after me*
Me: NO DON'T TOUCH ME ! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME !
Msh3al: Please don't do this.. we can work this out.. your my wife ... I love you..
Me: YOU LOVE YOURSELF ! YOU KNOW WHAT , I SUGGEST YOU DON'T COME HOME TONIGHT !
Msh3al: Jenah please don't do this !
Me: YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF !
Msh3al: I can't believe he told you.. what did he tell you ?
Me: What are you talking about ? Who ?
Msh3al: Bader...
Me: What does he have to do with --- Oh my god.. that's why he's been acting...
Msh3al: What ?
Me: I gotta go...
Msh3al: JENAH !
Me: STAY AWAY FROM ME !
The next thing I know I'm standing infront of Bader's front door.
I walked in and confronted him!
My head was aching from all my yelling.
I had to take breaths in between.
He tried to calm be down but I wouldn't let him touch me.
After I was done I ran out of his house.
I couldn't look at him for one more minute.
He betrayed him.
He knew. And he kept it from me.
Msh3al.....
Bader.......
Bader: Eeh 7beebty I'm sorry.
Me: You ok ?
Bader: I just didn't get much sleep last night.
Me: We could cut lunch short is you want.
Bader: La la ofcourse not. I haven't seen you in a long time.
Me: Are you sure nothing's bothering you ?
Bader: 7beebty don't worry. You know if there is I would tell you straight away.
Me: I hope so...
He's been acting realy weird around me.
Not focusing when I'd talk.
He would try not to look directly at my eyes.
Sometimes he's even stutter when he talked.
How could lack of sleep do this to someone ?
I haven't herd of anything like it before.
I sensed something was wrong, but I didnt want to force it out of him.
I wanted him to want to tell me.
Didn't want to be forceful.
Plus Msh3al had been acting a bit strange around me aswell.
Were they both up to something? I had no clue.
I reached a point where I couldn't take it anymore.
So I decided to confront Msh3al.
Msh3al: Why would you think something's wrong ?
Me: You and Bader have been acting really strange around me latley.
Msh3al: When have you seen Bader ?
Me: Uhhh... he'd sometimes drop by to see you .... you wouldnt be here... so...
Msh3al: Ah ok. La wallah 7ayati mafi shay.
Me: Should I ask him or stick with you ?
Msh3al: *siiiiiiiiiiiigh*
Me: I'm waiting...
Msh3al: Well...
Me: Yes...
Msh3al: We lost a client thats all..
Me: But what's that got to do with me ?
Msh3al: I dunno why he's acting off but I'm just upset about it..
Me: Aha...
I didnt believe him, not for one second.
A client ? Really ? I'm not that dumb..
Fine, I said to myself.
When their both ready, they'll tell me.
A Week Later...
Msh3al was being distant, too distant.
He wouldn't even carry on a conversation with me.
Was it something I did ? Say ?
I started questioning myself, feeling like utter trash.
Did he find out about me and Bader?
I was going insane.
Should I confront him ?
What if I did ? Then it turns out he didnt know after all.
I talked to Nawal, as always.
She said I should just sit Msh3al down and have a talk with him.
So I did.
He was out of the house already. And when I called his cell it went directley to voicemail.
I left like four messages but he still didn't call me back. I was starting to get worried.
This wasn't him. He'd never divert his calls to voicemail. By now he'd be home.
Dinner was always prepared at nine, which is when he's be home.
But for the week that past we havent had a decent meal together.
It got late, really late.
I searched through his phone book which he keeps next to his bedside table.
I found his secretary's number and dialed.
Me: Hey Rana this is Msh3al's wife Jenah.
Rana: Oh hey how are you ?
Me: I'm fine. And yourself ?
Rana: Tamam. Is something wrong ?
Me: Oh no no. Umm.. it's just that Msh3al isn't home yet. I hoped you would know where he was. I know it's late but I didnt know who else to call.
Rana: No it's ok. I was up anyways. Ummm.. when I left the office he was with a client. That's the last I saw of him.
Me: Was he finishing up or...
Rana: I don't know really. He told me not to disturb him so I'm guessing it was pretty important.
Me: Aha and when did you leave the office ?
Rana: At around 8:30.
Me: Strange. He should be back by now.
Rana: Don't worry I'm sure he'll be home soon.
Me: I hope so.
Rana: Are you ok ?
Me: Yeah I'm fine... it's just that we haven't sat down to a decent meal in a long time. I'm starting to miss him thats all.
Rana: Mashel 7alik.. he's been really swamped with work latley. A new client and all. Seriouse case.
Me: He got that account along time ago.
Rana: No this is a new client. Apparentley this women's ex husband is out to take everything she has.. money, cars, you name it. It's a shame what anger can do to a person.
Me: Yeah... what a shame. So he's been working late hours alot with this women ?
Rana: Like I said he's swamped, he's see her at the end of the day after he's done.
Me: Intresting... Do you think he'll be there now ?
Rana: I'm not sure.
Me: Ok then thank you so much Rana. Have a good night!
Late hours she says huh ?
I wanted to see just how late.
So I decided to make a surprise visit to see my Msh3al.
Swamped ?
How swamped.. to not call his wife to tell her he can't make it home for dinner.
I barged into his office.
There I stood.
Standing there.
Humiliated.
My husband. And his.... uh.. mistress ?
I saw them both all over eachother.
She was sitting on his lap with her arms all over him.
His lips were on hers.
Those lips I once kissed and craved more than anything in the world.
Were taken from me by some other women.
Msh3al: Jenah... wa5ryyy !!!
Me: Oh now you pull her off you ? Wow... I'll tell the maid to get the guestroom prepared for you.
Msh3al: Jenah wait ! *running after me*
Me: NO DON'T TOUCH ME ! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME !
Msh3al: Please don't do this.. we can work this out.. your my wife ... I love you..
Me: YOU LOVE YOURSELF ! YOU KNOW WHAT , I SUGGEST YOU DON'T COME HOME TONIGHT !
Msh3al: Jenah please don't do this !
Me: YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF !
Msh3al: I can't believe he told you.. what did he tell you ?
Me: What are you talking about ? Who ?
Msh3al: Bader...
Me: What does he have to do with --- Oh my god.. that's why he's been acting...
Msh3al: What ?
Me: I gotta go...
Msh3al: JENAH !
Me: STAY AWAY FROM ME !
The next thing I know I'm standing infront of Bader's front door.
I walked in and confronted him!
My head was aching from all my yelling.
I had to take breaths in between.
He tried to calm be down but I wouldn't let him touch me.
After I was done I ran out of his house.
I couldn't look at him for one more minute.
He betrayed him.
He knew. And he kept it from me.
Msh3al.....
Bader.......
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The Other Man 11
A few days had gone by.
Bader kept trying to contact me but I would bother to answer.
He made his choice. He got up and left.
It was so selfish of him.
Sure I felt bad everytime I rejected one of his calls, but what was I supposed to do ?
I didnt love him. Or did I ?
Nah I didn't, its just a thought that rushed through my head, now its gone.
Nawal: Jenah shfeeki ? Have you not been listening to word I said ...
Me: 7beebty wallah I'm sorry, mtan7a shway.
Nawal: Call him.
Me: I can't.. I want to.. but I can't.
Nawal: Where's your phone ?
Me: Nawal !!
Nawal: Haaaaaa ?
Me: He expects me to love him. I don't. I'm not even sure I can.
Nawal: He's putting you in an awkward position.
Me: Bgowah! And what about Msh3al ?
Nawal: The heart wants what it wants.
Me: How can you say that
Nawal: Me? Your the ne who started this little affair.
Me: Oh what so now your judging me? Are you trying to pin a word on me now ?
Nawal: J! I'm not trying to tell you anything except, one of these days your gonna have to make a choice. And someone is going to get hurt.
Me: I know...
She was right.
Someone was going to get hurt.
I just wasn't ready for it.
That night when Bader called, I picked up.
Bader: I was worried..
Me: Sorry..
Bader: La don't be
Me: ....
Bader: Say it.
Me: Say what ?
Bader: Whatever it is that's on your mind right now.
Me: I don't love you. I don't know if I ever will. All I know is I wanna be with you. I'm so happy when I'm around you. And if your expecting something in return, well I put a question mark on that.
Bader: Ok.
Me: Ok ?
Bader: I love being with you too. And I also know I don't wanna lose you.
Me: I wanna see you.
Bader: I'll come over.
Me: No its too risky.
Bader: Ajal ?
Me: I'll come to you.
Bader: Uhhh... I dont think thats a good idea.
Me: Aha...
Bader: We'll figuire out something tommorow ?
Me: Yeah ok.
Bader: 7beebty please don't be mad. Wallah al7een ba3ad I have to go back to the office and pick up some files I forgot.
Me: La 5ala9 it's ok. Tommorow it is then.
Through the hall walking to his office he herd a couple of voices.
He couldnt make out who they were.
It was coming from Msh3al's office.
He first thought it was me and Msh3al.
So Bader thought he'd come in and say hello.
To his surprisehe walks in to find Msh3al kissing the hand of a beautiful brunnete.
3ala6ool he rushed out and into his office.
He was shocked.
He never expected Msh3al to do such a thing.
Msh3al: Badoor !!
Bader: Ha.. ha.. How could you do this to her.. she loves you.
Msh3al: Who ?
Bader: Jenah !
Msh3al: 7beeby don't get the wrong idea. I adore my Jenah.
Bader: Your Jenah? YOUR Jenah ? Then who the hell is that women inside your office, whom you were kissing her hand !!!
Msh3al: She's just a friend.
Bader: Oh really? Well I'm just a friend but I don't see you kissing my hand!
Msh3al: This isn't a joking matter.
Bader: Your right! It's a serious one !!
Msh3al: *sigh* I would prefer us keeping this to ourselves.
Bader: I'm sorry but I don't know if I can.
Msh3al: Badoor I have been your loyal trustworthy friend for so many years. All Im asking is for your back.
Bader: How could you do this to her ?
Msh3al: She was a college sweetheart. We just wanted to catch up. One thing led to another...
Bader: How long ?
Msh3al: What ?
Bader: How long Msh3al ?
Msh3al: A month...
Bader: Oh my god...
Msh3al: So can I trust you to keep this to yourself ?
Bader: Yeah..
Msh3al: Ok, goodnight. I'll see you in the morning.
Who would have thought tha the perfect husband would be the perfect liar.
~~~~~~~~~~
My pretties. Sam7oony. I haven't been the best blogger for a while. I'm just going through hell with studying and with exams just around the corner. I've been sick on and off for the past month. It's driving me insane. I would sleep alot in the afternoon's. It's exhausting. But I posted at my best today just for you. I love you all and please ed3oly inah I get better soon and that it's nothing too serious :'''(
Bader kept trying to contact me but I would bother to answer.
He made his choice. He got up and left.
It was so selfish of him.
Sure I felt bad everytime I rejected one of his calls, but what was I supposed to do ?
I didnt love him. Or did I ?
Nah I didn't, its just a thought that rushed through my head, now its gone.
Nawal: Jenah shfeeki ? Have you not been listening to word I said ...
Me: 7beebty wallah I'm sorry, mtan7a shway.
Nawal: Call him.
Me: I can't.. I want to.. but I can't.
Nawal: Where's your phone ?
Me: Nawal !!
Nawal: Haaaaaa ?
Me: He expects me to love him. I don't. I'm not even sure I can.
Nawal: He's putting you in an awkward position.
Me: Bgowah! And what about Msh3al ?
Nawal: The heart wants what it wants.
Me: How can you say that
Nawal: Me? Your the ne who started this little affair.
Me: Oh what so now your judging me? Are you trying to pin a word on me now ?
Nawal: J! I'm not trying to tell you anything except, one of these days your gonna have to make a choice. And someone is going to get hurt.
Me: I know...
She was right.
Someone was going to get hurt.
I just wasn't ready for it.
That night when Bader called, I picked up.
Bader: I was worried..
Me: Sorry..
Bader: La don't be
Me: ....
Bader: Say it.
Me: Say what ?
Bader: Whatever it is that's on your mind right now.
Me: I don't love you. I don't know if I ever will. All I know is I wanna be with you. I'm so happy when I'm around you. And if your expecting something in return, well I put a question mark on that.
Bader: Ok.
Me: Ok ?
Bader: I love being with you too. And I also know I don't wanna lose you.
Me: I wanna see you.
Bader: I'll come over.
Me: No its too risky.
Bader: Ajal ?
Me: I'll come to you.
Bader: Uhhh... I dont think thats a good idea.
Me: Aha...
Bader: We'll figuire out something tommorow ?
Me: Yeah ok.
Bader: 7beebty please don't be mad. Wallah al7een ba3ad I have to go back to the office and pick up some files I forgot.
Me: La 5ala9 it's ok. Tommorow it is then.
Through the hall walking to his office he herd a couple of voices.
He couldnt make out who they were.
It was coming from Msh3al's office.
He first thought it was me and Msh3al.
So Bader thought he'd come in and say hello.
To his surprisehe walks in to find Msh3al kissing the hand of a beautiful brunnete.
3ala6ool he rushed out and into his office.
He was shocked.
He never expected Msh3al to do such a thing.
Msh3al: Badoor !!
Bader: Ha.. ha.. How could you do this to her.. she loves you.
Msh3al: Who ?
Bader: Jenah !
Msh3al: 7beeby don't get the wrong idea. I adore my Jenah.
Bader: Your Jenah? YOUR Jenah ? Then who the hell is that women inside your office, whom you were kissing her hand !!!
Msh3al: She's just a friend.
Bader: Oh really? Well I'm just a friend but I don't see you kissing my hand!
Msh3al: This isn't a joking matter.
Bader: Your right! It's a serious one !!
Msh3al: *sigh* I would prefer us keeping this to ourselves.
Bader: I'm sorry but I don't know if I can.
Msh3al: Badoor I have been your loyal trustworthy friend for so many years. All Im asking is for your back.
Bader: How could you do this to her ?
Msh3al: She was a college sweetheart. We just wanted to catch up. One thing led to another...
Bader: How long ?
Msh3al: What ?
Bader: How long Msh3al ?
Msh3al: A month...
Bader: Oh my god...
Msh3al: So can I trust you to keep this to yourself ?
Bader: Yeah..
Msh3al: Ok, goodnight. I'll see you in the morning.
Who would have thought tha the perfect husband would be the perfect liar.
~~~~~~~~~~
My pretties. Sam7oony. I haven't been the best blogger for a while. I'm just going through hell with studying and with exams just around the corner. I've been sick on and off for the past month. It's driving me insane. I would sleep alot in the afternoon's. It's exhausting. But I posted at my best today just for you. I love you all and please ed3oly inah I get better soon and that it's nothing too serious :'''(
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The Other Man 10
I didn't know where he was taking me.
We drove for an hour before we reached there.
The windows were dark.. I couldn't see a thing outside. Msh3al said he wanted it to be a surprise.
We stopped.
I got out.
I couldn't believe it.
He's actualy making my wish come true.
I saw two men.
We were standing on top of a tall strctured crane.
I knew exactley what was going to happen in the next couple of minutes.
I was going to be connected to a large elastic cord.
And hover above the ground.
This was it.. my wish..
I was finaly going to free fall.
So we got geared up and stepped up to the edge of the crane.
He took my hand.
I gripped it so tight.
I closed my eyes.
We jumped.
I wasn't scared.
My eyes were open the entire time.
I was smiling.
Feeling the air.
The chills all over my body.
That day was incredible
Ever since I was a little girl, this was my wish.
To have one terrifying adventure.
And now I finaly did.
Such an amazing experiance, I'll never forget it.
The Next Day...
Bader asked to meet with me. I honestley didn't want to see him. What would I say?
I knew he was upset about Msh3al and I's little adventure.
I kinda of don't blame him, I mean he was the one who helped me let go of my fear of heights when we were in Paris.
I hoped it wouldn't be weird. But ofcourse it was.
Meeting your secret lover behind your husband's back.
He was going to ask. I knew he was.
Bader: He told me you guys had fun.
Me: We did...
Bader: And how happy you were.
Me: I was...
Bader: Just one question though.
Me: Tfathal...
Bader: Do you love me ?
Me: What's that gotta do with anything ?
Bader: Just answer the question Jenah.
Me: I like you.. alot.
Bader: But do you love me ?
Me: I'm sorry but I can't answer that.
Bader: Well then we have nothing to sat to eachother anymore.
And then he just got up and disappeared. Can I blame him? He was the other man. Ofcourse he'd get upset. He was the other man trying to win me over. He had to compete with my husband. Saying it, makes think of how stupid I was to have allowed myself to fall for someone other than Msh3al. But that's the past. And I can't change it. I know that now.
A week had passed until I got a phone call from him.
Bader: Jenah 7aram 3leeki !
Me: Ana wsh sawaitlik al7een ? I am married !!
Bader: ....
Me: I told you.. god knows what'll happen int he future but as for now I just really like you and really like being with you.
Bader: Well it's not enough !
With those final words he hung up.
I'd be lyingi if I said I didn't care.
That I was glad he turned away.
But the truth was I wasn't.
The very moment he hung up I wanted to run to him.
But I couldn't. I knew that then and there it was over. He had shut me out.
A month had past and I haven't herd a single word from him.
Nawal told me it was for the best and that I should focus on MY marriage.
And I did.
Msh3al and I were so happy. Except he did have to work long hours at times. Still so, I got used to it and didn't let it get to me.
Then on one evening we had a surprise guest for dinner.
Yeah, it was him alright.
I was so happy to see him, yet scared all at once.
What was he doing here?
Was it to see me?
Or was it just for Msh3al?
We all sat down for dinner. It wasn't silent at all. They were both caught up in some coversation that I understood nothing about. Me, oh I just sat there like a baboon trying to go along with whatever they were saying. Knodding along, laughing when they did.
I was texting Nawal the whole night.
7beebty kanat m3 Jamal. Those two made the cutest couple. I was so happy for her. She needed this, she needed him. Someone to make her feel speacial. At easy. Relaxed. Happy. And most importantley to take care of her.
After dinner we all went into the living room for tea.
I decided to leave the men alone while I go on upstairs and take a warm bath.
I was so tensed. I needed something to take the edge off.
A tub full of warm water and candels was just what I needed.
I got in, rested my head back and closed my eyes.
Candels filled the bathroom.
I turned on a cd I had of the ocean.
Minutes later I herd someone walk in. I had thought it was Msh3al, assuming Bader had already left.
I asked "Msh3al" to come in and join me.
My eyes were perfectley shut.
I felt him sitting beside me on the outside of the tub.
Took both his hands and started massaging my shoulder.
I could tell those weren't Msh3al's hands.
He could never give a proper massage.
He nearly broke my neck the last time.
It was Bader!!
But where was Msh3al ?
Me: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE !! GET OUT !!
Bader: Shhhhhhhh !!! Do you really want your husband to find us in here ? Together ?
Me: Aghh get out yallah !!
Bader: Alright fine fine I'm going. But I just wanted to talk to you about something.
Me: Couldn't it wait? Cause as you can see.. I'm NAKED !!
Bader: Shhhh !!
Me: You shhhhhh !!
Bader: No really, I think I hear someoen coming.
Me: That's no though sweetheart!! That's a fact !!
Bader:I'm getting out !!
Me: Are you crazy !! He'll see you !!
Bader: Well then what the hell am I supposed to do ?
Me: Behind the curtains now !!
Bader: You have curtains in your bathroom ?
Me: OH JUST GO !!
Msh3al walked in.
He smiled and kissed me on my forhead.
I could see Bader's head popping out every few seconds.
I was dying inside!
He had asked me if I'd seen Bader. I told him to check downstairs.
Me: GET OUT NOW !!
Bader: Can we talk ?
Me: Now? Are you insane? No wait don't answer that! They really did let you out too early !
Bader: What are you..... that's funny.
Me: Well I happen to find it hilariouse!
Bader: I'll call you later.
Me: I might not pick up !!
That was our first argument. But wait, is it an argument thought? When two people do what he and I just did, is that concidered as an argument? Can an argument twenty seconds ?
He called me that night but I didn't pick up.
34 missed calls...
15 messages.
I ignored them all.
Didn't want to, but I did.
What could he possibly have to say? I mean he was the one that got up and left. For what? Just because I didn't love him?
I have a husband...
I was just starting to get used to having Bader in my life...
Accepting this big change in my life.
We drove for an hour before we reached there.
The windows were dark.. I couldn't see a thing outside. Msh3al said he wanted it to be a surprise.
We stopped.
I got out.
I couldn't believe it.
He's actualy making my wish come true.
I saw two men.
We were standing on top of a tall strctured crane.
I knew exactley what was going to happen in the next couple of minutes.
I was going to be connected to a large elastic cord.
And hover above the ground.
This was it.. my wish..
I was finaly going to free fall.
So we got geared up and stepped up to the edge of the crane.
He took my hand.
I gripped it so tight.
I closed my eyes.
We jumped.
I wasn't scared.
My eyes were open the entire time.
I was smiling.
Feeling the air.
The chills all over my body.
That day was incredible
Ever since I was a little girl, this was my wish.
To have one terrifying adventure.
And now I finaly did.
Such an amazing experiance, I'll never forget it.
The Next Day...
Bader asked to meet with me. I honestley didn't want to see him. What would I say?
I knew he was upset about Msh3al and I's little adventure.
I kinda of don't blame him, I mean he was the one who helped me let go of my fear of heights when we were in Paris.
I hoped it wouldn't be weird. But ofcourse it was.
Meeting your secret lover behind your husband's back.
He was going to ask. I knew he was.
Bader: He told me you guys had fun.
Me: We did...
Bader: And how happy you were.
Me: I was...
Bader: Just one question though.
Me: Tfathal...
Bader: Do you love me ?
Me: What's that gotta do with anything ?
Bader: Just answer the question Jenah.
Me: I like you.. alot.
Bader: But do you love me ?
Me: I'm sorry but I can't answer that.
Bader: Well then we have nothing to sat to eachother anymore.
And then he just got up and disappeared. Can I blame him? He was the other man. Ofcourse he'd get upset. He was the other man trying to win me over. He had to compete with my husband. Saying it, makes think of how stupid I was to have allowed myself to fall for someone other than Msh3al. But that's the past. And I can't change it. I know that now.
A week had passed until I got a phone call from him.
Bader: Jenah 7aram 3leeki !
Me: Ana wsh sawaitlik al7een ? I am married !!
Bader: ....
Me: I told you.. god knows what'll happen int he future but as for now I just really like you and really like being with you.
Bader: Well it's not enough !
With those final words he hung up.
I'd be lyingi if I said I didn't care.
That I was glad he turned away.
But the truth was I wasn't.
The very moment he hung up I wanted to run to him.
But I couldn't. I knew that then and there it was over. He had shut me out.
A month had past and I haven't herd a single word from him.
Nawal told me it was for the best and that I should focus on MY marriage.
And I did.
Msh3al and I were so happy. Except he did have to work long hours at times. Still so, I got used to it and didn't let it get to me.
Then on one evening we had a surprise guest for dinner.
Yeah, it was him alright.
I was so happy to see him, yet scared all at once.
What was he doing here?
Was it to see me?
Or was it just for Msh3al?
We all sat down for dinner. It wasn't silent at all. They were both caught up in some coversation that I understood nothing about. Me, oh I just sat there like a baboon trying to go along with whatever they were saying. Knodding along, laughing when they did.
I was texting Nawal the whole night.
7beebty kanat m3 Jamal. Those two made the cutest couple. I was so happy for her. She needed this, she needed him. Someone to make her feel speacial. At easy. Relaxed. Happy. And most importantley to take care of her.
After dinner we all went into the living room for tea.
I decided to leave the men alone while I go on upstairs and take a warm bath.
I was so tensed. I needed something to take the edge off.
A tub full of warm water and candels was just what I needed.
I got in, rested my head back and closed my eyes.
Candels filled the bathroom.
I turned on a cd I had of the ocean.
Minutes later I herd someone walk in. I had thought it was Msh3al, assuming Bader had already left.
I asked "Msh3al" to come in and join me.
My eyes were perfectley shut.
I felt him sitting beside me on the outside of the tub.
Took both his hands and started massaging my shoulder.
I could tell those weren't Msh3al's hands.
He could never give a proper massage.
He nearly broke my neck the last time.
It was Bader!!
But where was Msh3al ?
Me: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE !! GET OUT !!
Bader: Shhhhhhhh !!! Do you really want your husband to find us in here ? Together ?
Me: Aghh get out yallah !!
Bader: Alright fine fine I'm going. But I just wanted to talk to you about something.
Me: Couldn't it wait? Cause as you can see.. I'm NAKED !!
Bader: Shhhh !!
Me: You shhhhhh !!
Bader: No really, I think I hear someoen coming.
Me: That's no though sweetheart!! That's a fact !!
Bader:I'm getting out !!
Me: Are you crazy !! He'll see you !!
Bader: Well then what the hell am I supposed to do ?
Me: Behind the curtains now !!
Bader: You have curtains in your bathroom ?
Me: OH JUST GO !!
Msh3al walked in.
He smiled and kissed me on my forhead.
I could see Bader's head popping out every few seconds.
I was dying inside!
He had asked me if I'd seen Bader. I told him to check downstairs.
Me: GET OUT NOW !!
Bader: Can we talk ?
Me: Now? Are you insane? No wait don't answer that! They really did let you out too early !
Bader: What are you..... that's funny.
Me: Well I happen to find it hilariouse!
Bader: I'll call you later.
Me: I might not pick up !!
That was our first argument. But wait, is it an argument thought? When two people do what he and I just did, is that concidered as an argument? Can an argument twenty seconds ?
He called me that night but I didn't pick up.
34 missed calls...
15 messages.
I ignored them all.
Didn't want to, but I did.
What could he possibly have to say? I mean he was the one that got up and left. For what? Just because I didn't love him?
I have a husband...
I was just starting to get used to having Bader in my life...
Accepting this big change in my life.
Friday, January 8, 2010
The Other Man 9
7abaybe sam7oony.. I know I'm not posting daily as I used to. Inshallah I'll get back on track soon, so for now just bare with me. Things over here are getting a bit hectic. I'm surprised I even have time to write this post.
You know I love you all right ? So much! <3
Oh and I'll be sure to get back to your comments on the previouse post soon!
;*********
~~~~~~~~~~
Msh3al: Aby el files mn Waleed.
Bader: Eeh al7een I'll get them.
Msh3al: Hey..
Bader: Fe shay thani ?
Msh3al: Shaklik met4yeg...
Bader: La wallah bs tafkeer..
Msh3al: 5air ?
Bader: M3jebah f w7dah..
Msh3al: W a5eeeran !
Bader: Eeh bs traha mu sahla..
Msh3al: Kaif ?
Bader: 5an gool inah ehya w7da 93bah w ma agdar ajeebha bl shoola..
Msh3al: T7bha ?
Bader: A76a foug ra9i ...
Msh3al: Ajal la tetrkha.. ra7 t59ar el bnt.. ya7athaha lw int m3ha...
Bader: Wallah mdri.. 93bah agolik.. el bnt 93bah...
He didn't know that Bader was talking about me.
He didn't know that the women he was trying to win over was me.
He didn't know that Bader was trying to steal me away.
He didn't know...
It was all a shadow to Msh3al.
Two weeks had gone by and Bader and I have gotten closer. We've gotton to know eachother more. I was starting to see him from the inside. He seemed like such a pain from the outside, but when you dig right in, he really is one of the sweetest most caring people I've ever met.
He was engaged you know.
But she broke it off.
At the last minute she recognized that she wasn't ready. That she wanted to study. She put him through so much. He was madly in love with her and she just threw it all away. He said they'd get married and move to the states where she would continue her studies. But she refused.
It tore him apart. It shut him down and made him reject ever falling in love again.
But then why me right ? I asked him that very same question.
Bader: I dunno...
Me: You don't know ?
Bader: No I do.
Me: So?
Bader: When I saw you in New York, there was something about you. I don't know what it was, but it attracted me. The next day I went back to the hotel looking for you but they said you had already left. I never thought I'd see you again and when I did...
Me: When you did what ?
Bader: I was happy... I was so happy.. Even though I just found out that you were my best friends wife.
I never expected things to get this far between us. Where he opens up telling me about his past and feelings towards me. I honestley thought it would be over by now. Those two weeks seemed like two years to me.
What's a girl to do ?
I've tried ending it but I couldn't. I'd be on the tip of telling him... until I look into those deep brown eyes.
Those eyes... those eyes gave me vertigo.
One day 7beeby and I were out to lunch. It's been a long time since we've had lunch together. He'd usualy be held up at the office. But he managed to push some stuff back to be with me.
This is what I loved about Msh3al. He takes care of me, he makes me feel wanted. That no matter what, he'll always be there for me. He would never allow a frown to appear on my face. He did his best to make me happy. He loved me, sometimes even too much than he should.
While we were having lunch he opend up a conversation I never though would ever come up!
Msh3al: Wallah m7zni Badoor.
Me: Oh? Shfeeh?
Msh3al: It's about a girl.
Me: Ahaa...
Msh3al: Inah he really wants to be with her but somethings standing in the way.
Me: Did he tell you what that something was ?
Msh3al: No. He just walked straight out of my office shutting me out.
Me: I don't know what to say.
Msh3al: Aby asa3dah bs mdri kaif.
Me: DONT !!!
Msh3al: Bismilah shfeeki ?!
Me: Uhhhh nothing.. nothing.
Msh3al: Shfeeki za3agti ?
Me: Haha no reason.. silly old me hehe...
7beeby dropped me back home then headed back to the office. It tore me apart how hard he's working. Never home alot. He isn't even sleeping well. I hate to force him to take sleeping pills one night, although he doesn't believe in the miracles of medicine.
He's always been like that. He's the type that likes to heal on his own.
Once back home I texted Bader to drop by as soon as he could. That it was an urgent matter.
Me: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING TALKING TO MSH3AL ?
Bader: What are you talking about ?
Me: DON'T YOU DARE PLAY THE CLUELESS CARD WITH ME !!
Bader: *sigh* So I told him I was having some trouble. What's the big deal ?
Me: WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ? ARE YOU SERIOUSE ? HOW COULD YOU ?
Bader: Hey hey relax 7beebty.. relax.
I turned my back to him.
He came closer and wrapped his arms around me from behind.
I could feel his warm embrace.
Whenever he holds me.. he just takes it all way.. and I feel as ease.
That was what I thought of Bader.. my healing.
That's something about him I never quit understood.
Meanwhile Jamal and Nawal .. oh hey both their names rhyme.. awww how adorable.
Anyways Jamal and Nawal were getting closer.
I haven't seen her for three days min kthr ma she's hung up on him. Can I blame her? Ofcourse not, she stood patient for so long and everything worked out for her.
I envied her sometimes. How stable she is of her life. She takes the wheel. While me, I'm the opposite.
Two days later was to be Msh3al and I's anniversary. Of the day we first met. Not our marriage.
He always plans this little surprises for me months in advance. He thinks he plays me like a fool, as if I hadn't already figuired it out. But I always act surprised.
I couldn't wait. I was too anxious to see what he had planned for this year!
Two Days Later...
The day had finaly come!
I woke up extra early and planned my day with Nawal. And as always Msh3al would call and ask me to come back home for something "important".
But this year he didn't.
I was confused. Why hadn't he called yet.
It was almost 8 pm.
Where was he ?
Is he hurt ?
Had something bad happend ?
This wasn't like him. This wasn't my Msh3al.
I had Nawal drop me back home.
Incase he wasn't home, I wanted to be there when he returned.
I waited for an hour.
My cell phone rang.
Msh3al: 7beebty wallah I'm so sorry happy anniversary I love you so much.
Me: 7ayatii where were you! You had me worried sick!
Msh3al: Dary wallah bs things are so hectic at the office.
Me: 6yb when will you be home ? I miss you...
Msh3al: Wallah mu kethri. I'll try and finish up fast and be there soon inshallah.
Me: I love you.
Msh3al: I love you more 7beebty. Bye.
7aram 7beeby. 7azani.
I decided to pack a little romantic picnic with his favorite pasta and sandwiches and surprise him. Thank goodness I forgot to tell the cook to cancel dinner!
Up te elevator...
Through the hall...
Past the reciption...
Into his office...
No one there...
Now into the meeting room...
He was there...
Only not alone...
I coughed, to indicate that someone was in the room.
Msh3al: 7beebty! What a nice surprise.
He came over and kissed me. But I stepped aside before he could touch me.
Me: So what's going on over here that you couldn't make it home ?
Msh3al: This is '3ada. She's a new client. I'm helping her with her divorce.
Me: Ahaaa... now ? At this late hour ?
Msh3al: Like I said 7beebty, it's been a hectic day.
Me: I'll be in your office.
I waited in his office for ten minutes before he came in.
Msh3al: 7beebty you should have told me your were coming.
Me: I wanted to surprise you with this. *opening the basket*
Msh3al: Ya 7ayatiiiiii !!! Your adorable !!!
Me: I was really looking forward to today Msh3al.
Msh3al: And I wasn't ?
Me: You tell me. Your the one who's been sitting here with that women. Who by the way is drop dead gorgeous.
Msh3al: I only see one women who makes my heart stop whenever she enters a room.
Me: I just wanted today to be perfect.
Msh3al: I know 7beebty and wallah I'm so sorry.
Me: I know you are...
Msh3al: Listen, how about we have dinner tommorow ?
Me: That's all we ever do. I'm tired of it. I want something new. Something exciting.
Msh3al: You want exciting huh? Ok fine. You wait until tommorow for your little adventure.
Me: Adventure ?
Msh3al: Yup.
Me: It's going to be the best anniversary yet.
Msh3al: You know I'll do anything just to see that smile on your face.
I told Bader not to call me tommorow and that I'd be with Msh3al all day.
His tone said it all.
He got a little upset.
It's like he'd forgotton that I was married to his best and I had just reminded him.
But he didn't let it show.
He just told me to have fun and that was it.
We hung up.
I felt so guilty.
I don't know why, but I did.
After hanging up, I just wanted to see him.
That night I lied wide awake in my bed.
Leaving the window open, hearing the wind rattle the leaves on the tree's.
I didn't sleep that night.
My thoughts consumed me.
Sometimes I wish I could just go back to when I was a child.
Where everything was simple.
Nothing to worry about.
Where we thought men were disgusting and never wanted anything to do with them.
But no one can ever go back.
We made our future the way it is from the choices we've made in the past.
I made my choices.
I just hope I made the right one's.
You know I love you all right ? So much! <3
Oh and I'll be sure to get back to your comments on the previouse post soon!
;*********
~~~~~~~~~~
Msh3al: Aby el files mn Waleed.
Bader: Eeh al7een I'll get them.
Msh3al: Hey..
Bader: Fe shay thani ?
Msh3al: Shaklik met4yeg...
Bader: La wallah bs tafkeer..
Msh3al: 5air ?
Bader: M3jebah f w7dah..
Msh3al: W a5eeeran !
Bader: Eeh bs traha mu sahla..
Msh3al: Kaif ?
Bader: 5an gool inah ehya w7da 93bah w ma agdar ajeebha bl shoola..
Msh3al: T7bha ?
Bader: A76a foug ra9i ...
Msh3al: Ajal la tetrkha.. ra7 t59ar el bnt.. ya7athaha lw int m3ha...
Bader: Wallah mdri.. 93bah agolik.. el bnt 93bah...
He didn't know that Bader was talking about me.
He didn't know that the women he was trying to win over was me.
He didn't know that Bader was trying to steal me away.
He didn't know...
It was all a shadow to Msh3al.
Two weeks had gone by and Bader and I have gotten closer. We've gotton to know eachother more. I was starting to see him from the inside. He seemed like such a pain from the outside, but when you dig right in, he really is one of the sweetest most caring people I've ever met.
He was engaged you know.
But she broke it off.
At the last minute she recognized that she wasn't ready. That she wanted to study. She put him through so much. He was madly in love with her and she just threw it all away. He said they'd get married and move to the states where she would continue her studies. But she refused.
It tore him apart. It shut him down and made him reject ever falling in love again.
But then why me right ? I asked him that very same question.
Bader: I dunno...
Me: You don't know ?
Bader: No I do.
Me: So?
Bader: When I saw you in New York, there was something about you. I don't know what it was, but it attracted me. The next day I went back to the hotel looking for you but they said you had already left. I never thought I'd see you again and when I did...
Me: When you did what ?
Bader: I was happy... I was so happy.. Even though I just found out that you were my best friends wife.
I never expected things to get this far between us. Where he opens up telling me about his past and feelings towards me. I honestley thought it would be over by now. Those two weeks seemed like two years to me.
What's a girl to do ?
I've tried ending it but I couldn't. I'd be on the tip of telling him... until I look into those deep brown eyes.
Those eyes... those eyes gave me vertigo.
One day 7beeby and I were out to lunch. It's been a long time since we've had lunch together. He'd usualy be held up at the office. But he managed to push some stuff back to be with me.
This is what I loved about Msh3al. He takes care of me, he makes me feel wanted. That no matter what, he'll always be there for me. He would never allow a frown to appear on my face. He did his best to make me happy. He loved me, sometimes even too much than he should.
While we were having lunch he opend up a conversation I never though would ever come up!
Msh3al: Wallah m7zni Badoor.
Me: Oh? Shfeeh?
Msh3al: It's about a girl.
Me: Ahaa...
Msh3al: Inah he really wants to be with her but somethings standing in the way.
Me: Did he tell you what that something was ?
Msh3al: No. He just walked straight out of my office shutting me out.
Me: I don't know what to say.
Msh3al: Aby asa3dah bs mdri kaif.
Me: DONT !!!
Msh3al: Bismilah shfeeki ?!
Me: Uhhhh nothing.. nothing.
Msh3al: Shfeeki za3agti ?
Me: Haha no reason.. silly old me hehe...
7beeby dropped me back home then headed back to the office. It tore me apart how hard he's working. Never home alot. He isn't even sleeping well. I hate to force him to take sleeping pills one night, although he doesn't believe in the miracles of medicine.
He's always been like that. He's the type that likes to heal on his own.
Once back home I texted Bader to drop by as soon as he could. That it was an urgent matter.
Me: WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING TALKING TO MSH3AL ?
Bader: What are you talking about ?
Me: DON'T YOU DARE PLAY THE CLUELESS CARD WITH ME !!
Bader: *sigh* So I told him I was having some trouble. What's the big deal ?
Me: WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ? ARE YOU SERIOUSE ? HOW COULD YOU ?
Bader: Hey hey relax 7beebty.. relax.
I turned my back to him.
He came closer and wrapped his arms around me from behind.
I could feel his warm embrace.
Whenever he holds me.. he just takes it all way.. and I feel as ease.
That was what I thought of Bader.. my healing.
That's something about him I never quit understood.
Meanwhile Jamal and Nawal .. oh hey both their names rhyme.. awww how adorable.
Anyways Jamal and Nawal were getting closer.
I haven't seen her for three days min kthr ma she's hung up on him. Can I blame her? Ofcourse not, she stood patient for so long and everything worked out for her.
I envied her sometimes. How stable she is of her life. She takes the wheel. While me, I'm the opposite.
Two days later was to be Msh3al and I's anniversary. Of the day we first met. Not our marriage.
He always plans this little surprises for me months in advance. He thinks he plays me like a fool, as if I hadn't already figuired it out. But I always act surprised.
I couldn't wait. I was too anxious to see what he had planned for this year!
Two Days Later...
The day had finaly come!
I woke up extra early and planned my day with Nawal. And as always Msh3al would call and ask me to come back home for something "important".
But this year he didn't.
I was confused. Why hadn't he called yet.
It was almost 8 pm.
Where was he ?
Is he hurt ?
Had something bad happend ?
This wasn't like him. This wasn't my Msh3al.
I had Nawal drop me back home.
Incase he wasn't home, I wanted to be there when he returned.
I waited for an hour.
My cell phone rang.
Msh3al: 7beebty wallah I'm so sorry happy anniversary I love you so much.
Me: 7ayatii where were you! You had me worried sick!
Msh3al: Dary wallah bs things are so hectic at the office.
Me: 6yb when will you be home ? I miss you...
Msh3al: Wallah mu kethri. I'll try and finish up fast and be there soon inshallah.
Me: I love you.
Msh3al: I love you more 7beebty. Bye.
7aram 7beeby. 7azani.
I decided to pack a little romantic picnic with his favorite pasta and sandwiches and surprise him. Thank goodness I forgot to tell the cook to cancel dinner!
Up te elevator...
Through the hall...
Past the reciption...
Into his office...
No one there...
Now into the meeting room...
He was there...
Only not alone...
I coughed, to indicate that someone was in the room.
Msh3al: 7beebty! What a nice surprise.
He came over and kissed me. But I stepped aside before he could touch me.
Me: So what's going on over here that you couldn't make it home ?
Msh3al: This is '3ada. She's a new client. I'm helping her with her divorce.
Me: Ahaaa... now ? At this late hour ?
Msh3al: Like I said 7beebty, it's been a hectic day.
Me: I'll be in your office.
I waited in his office for ten minutes before he came in.
Msh3al: 7beebty you should have told me your were coming.
Me: I wanted to surprise you with this. *opening the basket*
Msh3al: Ya 7ayatiiiiii !!! Your adorable !!!
Me: I was really looking forward to today Msh3al.
Msh3al: And I wasn't ?
Me: You tell me. Your the one who's been sitting here with that women. Who by the way is drop dead gorgeous.
Msh3al: I only see one women who makes my heart stop whenever she enters a room.
Me: I just wanted today to be perfect.
Msh3al: I know 7beebty and wallah I'm so sorry.
Me: I know you are...
Msh3al: Listen, how about we have dinner tommorow ?
Me: That's all we ever do. I'm tired of it. I want something new. Something exciting.
Msh3al: You want exciting huh? Ok fine. You wait until tommorow for your little adventure.
Me: Adventure ?
Msh3al: Yup.
Me: It's going to be the best anniversary yet.
Msh3al: You know I'll do anything just to see that smile on your face.
I told Bader not to call me tommorow and that I'd be with Msh3al all day.
His tone said it all.
He got a little upset.
It's like he'd forgotton that I was married to his best and I had just reminded him.
But he didn't let it show.
He just told me to have fun and that was it.
We hung up.
I felt so guilty.
I don't know why, but I did.
After hanging up, I just wanted to see him.
That night I lied wide awake in my bed.
Leaving the window open, hearing the wind rattle the leaves on the tree's.
I didn't sleep that night.
My thoughts consumed me.
Sometimes I wish I could just go back to when I was a child.
Where everything was simple.
Nothing to worry about.
Where we thought men were disgusting and never wanted anything to do with them.
But no one can ever go back.
We made our future the way it is from the choices we've made in the past.
I made my choices.
I just hope I made the right one's.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The Other Man 8
Previously...
While 7beeby was in the shower, I got a knock at the door.
Me: Good morning. Can I help you ?
Bellboy: This has just been delievered for you.
Me: Me? Well who's it from ?
Bellboy: The gentelman did not say.
Me: Gentleman? Umm ok thank you.
Bellboy: Have a nice day.
A black and white bag.
With a black box inside.
I couldnt believe what my eyes were seeing.
He actualy got it for me.
Inside the note, it read...
Your worth everything...
________________________________
For the whole day I couldn't get Bader out of my mind. He was all I thought about. I smiled whenever I'd think about the day we had. It was perfect, not what I planned or wanted but still perfect.
He took me out of my misery that day and gave me joy and laughter.
When Msh3al asked about the mag I told him that I had already gotten it from back home. He was curiouse at first cause usualy I'd tell him whenever I bought something. But thank god he believed me.
I hate lying to him. I've never lied to him before. Our love had always been about trust. And now I've betrayed that.
We were to leave back home the next day, and I for one was anxiouse to do so. Although I was looking forward to Paris and the romance it had to offer, it all got ruined.
The day I had with Bader was supposed to be with Msh3al. I was supposed to have that wonderful day with Msh3al. Instead, Bader was the one to put that never ending smile on my face. Where was my husband ? The man who swore to do so for the rest of our lives ?
Like I've said before, I can't blame Msh3al. He was working so hard for me, for us, for our life.
When we were back home I immediatley called Nawal. I wanted away from Msh3al for a while and just to be with my best friend. So we had dinner at out favorite little Italina restuarant.
We talked for over an hour about Msh3al and Bader.
Nawal was scared for me. She was scared I'd fall hard for Bader putting my marriage in jepordy.
It was all so confusing. I was exactley in her shoes 5 years ago. Wanting to me with someone but cant.
Nawal: Wait.. he was there ?
Me: Have you not been listening to a word I've said ? Yes he was there!
Nawal: Sorry I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.
Me: Me neither. I guess he wasn't playing around after all.
Nawal: Don't J, just don't.
Me: .....
Nawal: Don't start to fall for him. Not now, not ever.
Me: Nawal he came all the way to Europe for me. If I could only find the words to describe to you the day we had. It was perfect!
Nawal: You've said too many words J. Your married!
Me: I know I know. Nawalii wallah you don't know how hard it is. Having such chemistry with someone else other than your love. Melting to the ground whenever he's around you. I can't controle it.
Nawal: *sigh* I know what you mean.
Me: How could you possibly ?
Nawal: I was in your shoes five years ago.
Me: Are you telling me you cheated on Yazeed ?! Is that why you guys broke up ?
Nawal: I didn't cheat on him. And no we did not break up because of that.
Me: Ajal ?
Nawal: Remember that little trip we took with out moms to Athens ?
Me: Yeah, what about it ?
Nawal: I met him there. Jamal.
Me: Why are you telling me this now ?
Nawal: Isma3eni awal. So anyways one day I woke up early to take a little run down by the sea, thats when I met him. He was sweet. I was bored. I just wanted someone to talk with for a while. Little did I know tha sparks would fly between us. So for the next couple of night there I would wake up extra early before you guys and meet him down by the shore. We just talked. Nothing physical happend. Although I wanted to so bad. But I stopped myself. I never had this much of a connection with Yazeed the way I had it with Jamal. Then the night before we left, I told Jamal that we couldnt talk anymore. I told him about Yazeed and surprisingly he understood and we said goodbye. I havent herd from him since Athens. I left Yazeed. I lied, he didn't leave me. I wanted Jamal more than anything. After meeting Jamal, I knew Yazeed wasn't the one for me.
Me: Did you try finding Jamal ?
Nawal: J I dont even know if he lives here. Or his number. Or even his last name. Plus it's been 5 years. He's probably already married or whatever.
Me: 7beebty, why didn't you tell me ?
Nawal: I was kind of heartbroken and didn't want to talk about it. But that's all in the past. My past. I moved on.
Me: Seems to me like you've still got hope he'll show up someday.
Nawal: It doesn't matther anyways.
Me: You haven't been with someone in over 2 years. So yes it matters.
Nawal: Can we get back to your problme please.
Me: Yeah...
I felt like a prisoner whenever I was around Bader. Like if I even tried anything I'd be executed. I was scared and confused. I didn't know what to do.
The next day Msh3al was having some of his freinds over for dinner. This happend once every week. Something like guys night.
Usualy I'd be with my family or Nawalii but I wasn't feel well that day. I think I was coming down with a cold. My nose was runny. My eyes would water every now and then. My throat was in so much pain, it felt like a ton of bricks were stuck in my throat. My whole bed was filled with cough syrup, strepsils, penadole and many other medicines. It was like a pharmacy had moved in with me. I just stayed in bed all day watching Will and Grace starting from season one.
Still my parents and Nawalii would call every now and then to check up on me. Y7lelhom.
I was scared that Bader might be downstairs. What if he was ? What if he snuck away from the crowd and came upstairs ? Would he know I was upstairs ? Would he kiss me ?
Oh yes. Yes he did. It's what he does, shows up everywhere I am.
At around 10 that night he walked in.
My heart started to race. (as always)
I could feel the heat inside my body.
He walked towards me and sat next to me on the edge of the bed. I moved a bit so that he could sit properly.
Bader: Salamtik 7beebty...
Me: Allah yslmik.
Bader: Ha keif 7asa al7een ? Inshallah a7san ?
Me: E elzmdelah shway. Ga3da a5ath adweya bs mu ga3ed yfeedni ktheer.
Bader: 7beebty inti.. wallah ga6a3ti galbi laman Msh3al gali inik merthti.
Me: La inshallah I'll be fine.
Bader: Here take two of these.
Me: Wsh tha ?
Bader: Nurofen.
Me: What does it do ?
Bader: It's a very good direct target pill.
Me: 6yb hand me the water next to you.
Bader: Yallah bshwaish.
Me: Will it happen fast.
Bader: Inshallah.
Me: Shkran Bader bs wallah you didn't have to.
Bader: Walaw.. ay shay la a7la w a'3la Jenah.
Me: Hehe..
Bader: Eeh hathal tha7ka eli knt abe ashoofah..
He pinched my cheeks and I started to blush.
Bader: Ha wsh ga3da tsween broo7ik ?
Me: Watching Will and Grace.
Bader: Ah wallah ? Amoot 3lee.
Me: Wallah ? Haha, Msh3al may6eegah !
Bader: Bag3ad ma3aki shway 3ashan ashofah.
Me: 3ashan tshoof wla 3ashan tg3ad ma3ay ?
Bader: Ag3ad m3 my Joony.
Yes, he did just call me his Joony.
Minutes later Msh3al walks in.
Once he saw us he shot Bader a look signaling him to get out.
I gulped so hard I felt like the bricks in my throat were sliding down slowly.
He shut the door and stood there just staring at me furiously.
Msh3al: Wsh kan ga3ed ysawi foug ma3aki ?
Me: Nothing. He just came and give e some pills.
Msh3al: What pills ?
Me: It targets the pain quickely. I', actualy starting to feel alot better.
Msh3al: Wallah ?
Me: Eeh wallah 7beeby.
He came and sat next to me, putting his arms around me. I rested my head on his shoulder and we interlocked hands.
He told me was sorry he got angry and that he shouldnt have over reacted.
He stayed with me for a while then got back to his guests.
Meanwhile Nawal was at Coffee Bean reading her new issue of People magazine.
This was her alone time. Getting her weekly magazine and enjoying it over a cup of Coffee.
Little did she know... she was about to get one heck of a surprise.
She was holding her coffee in one hand and the magazine in another.
All of a sudden she drops her cup and spills it all over her clothes.
She jumped up screaming !
Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at her. No one offered to help except for this man. A tall toned tanned man. Gorgeous dark brown hair. Hazel eyes. Beautifuly drawn lips. And a body to kill. He was wearing a beige colored barmoda and a white lacoste polo. The hot simple style that every girl loves.
He just ran right over and helped pick up the glass on the floor.
?: Are you ok ?
Nawal: I feel like my whole body was set on fire!
?: You'll be alright lat 5afi.
Nawal: Yeah... Thank you so much.
?: Yeah sure no pro ---
They both stopped what they were doing and froze.
When you least expect it...
Nawal: Oh my god... I don't believe it...
?: Five years...
Nawal: Five years...
?: Ummm.. you wanna take a walk ?
Nawal: Sure...
An Hour Later...
?: Hard to believe no one's snatched you up yet.
Nawal: Let's just say I haven't found the right one.
?: Arn't you with that guy ?
Nawal: No we broke up.
?: Ahh.. sorry...
Nawal: Don't be. It was the right thing.
?: So what now ?
Nawal: What do you mean what now ?
?: You know all these years I've never once stopped thinking about you.
Nawal: Really ?
?: Really... I mean Athens.. I would give anything just to be back there again with you.
Nawal: Yeah we did have an amazing time.
?: Haha remember when you flew off from the boat.
Nawal: I cannot believe you still remember that !
?: How could I not! It was one of the highlights!
Nawal: Jamal !! 7aram 3leek that is so not funny !! I still have that scar !
Jamal: Haha 5ala9 I'm sorry I'm sorry.
Nawal: Mmm hmmm...
Jamal: Uhh Nawal ?
Nawal: Na3am ?
Jamal: I really missed you. I know it's only been a couple of days but I really did.
Nawal: I missed you too...
Jamal: I don't think we bumped into eachother today by accident. I think it happend for a reason. And I wanna figuire out what that reason is.
Nawal: What are you saying Jamal ?
Jamal: I'm saying I wanna be with you. I finaly wanna be with you.
Without saying a word she hugged him.
She hugged him like it was the last moon rising.
Like tommorow would never come.
A true hug.
She didn't want to let go of him.
He's all she ever thought about. And now she finaly has him.
While 7beeby was in the shower, I got a knock at the door.
Me: Good morning. Can I help you ?
Bellboy: This has just been delievered for you.
Me: Me? Well who's it from ?
Bellboy: The gentelman did not say.
Me: Gentleman? Umm ok thank you.
Bellboy: Have a nice day.
A black and white bag.
With a black box inside.
I couldnt believe what my eyes were seeing.
He actualy got it for me.
Inside the note, it read...
Your worth everything...
________________________________
For the whole day I couldn't get Bader out of my mind. He was all I thought about. I smiled whenever I'd think about the day we had. It was perfect, not what I planned or wanted but still perfect.
He took me out of my misery that day and gave me joy and laughter.
When Msh3al asked about the mag I told him that I had already gotten it from back home. He was curiouse at first cause usualy I'd tell him whenever I bought something. But thank god he believed me.
I hate lying to him. I've never lied to him before. Our love had always been about trust. And now I've betrayed that.
We were to leave back home the next day, and I for one was anxiouse to do so. Although I was looking forward to Paris and the romance it had to offer, it all got ruined.
The day I had with Bader was supposed to be with Msh3al. I was supposed to have that wonderful day with Msh3al. Instead, Bader was the one to put that never ending smile on my face. Where was my husband ? The man who swore to do so for the rest of our lives ?
Like I've said before, I can't blame Msh3al. He was working so hard for me, for us, for our life.
When we were back home I immediatley called Nawal. I wanted away from Msh3al for a while and just to be with my best friend. So we had dinner at out favorite little Italina restuarant.
We talked for over an hour about Msh3al and Bader.
Nawal was scared for me. She was scared I'd fall hard for Bader putting my marriage in jepordy.
It was all so confusing. I was exactley in her shoes 5 years ago. Wanting to me with someone but cant.
Nawal: Wait.. he was there ?
Me: Have you not been listening to a word I've said ? Yes he was there!
Nawal: Sorry I just can't seem to wrap my head around it.
Me: Me neither. I guess he wasn't playing around after all.
Nawal: Don't J, just don't.
Me: .....
Nawal: Don't start to fall for him. Not now, not ever.
Me: Nawal he came all the way to Europe for me. If I could only find the words to describe to you the day we had. It was perfect!
Nawal: You've said too many words J. Your married!
Me: I know I know. Nawalii wallah you don't know how hard it is. Having such chemistry with someone else other than your love. Melting to the ground whenever he's around you. I can't controle it.
Nawal: *sigh* I know what you mean.
Me: How could you possibly ?
Nawal: I was in your shoes five years ago.
Me: Are you telling me you cheated on Yazeed ?! Is that why you guys broke up ?
Nawal: I didn't cheat on him. And no we did not break up because of that.
Me: Ajal ?
Nawal: Remember that little trip we took with out moms to Athens ?
Me: Yeah, what about it ?
Nawal: I met him there. Jamal.
Me: Why are you telling me this now ?
Nawal: Isma3eni awal. So anyways one day I woke up early to take a little run down by the sea, thats when I met him. He was sweet. I was bored. I just wanted someone to talk with for a while. Little did I know tha sparks would fly between us. So for the next couple of night there I would wake up extra early before you guys and meet him down by the shore. We just talked. Nothing physical happend. Although I wanted to so bad. But I stopped myself. I never had this much of a connection with Yazeed the way I had it with Jamal. Then the night before we left, I told Jamal that we couldnt talk anymore. I told him about Yazeed and surprisingly he understood and we said goodbye. I havent herd from him since Athens. I left Yazeed. I lied, he didn't leave me. I wanted Jamal more than anything. After meeting Jamal, I knew Yazeed wasn't the one for me.
Me: Did you try finding Jamal ?
Nawal: J I dont even know if he lives here. Or his number. Or even his last name. Plus it's been 5 years. He's probably already married or whatever.
Me: 7beebty, why didn't you tell me ?
Nawal: I was kind of heartbroken and didn't want to talk about it. But that's all in the past. My past. I moved on.
Me: Seems to me like you've still got hope he'll show up someday.
Nawal: It doesn't matther anyways.
Me: You haven't been with someone in over 2 years. So yes it matters.
Nawal: Can we get back to your problme please.
Me: Yeah...
I felt like a prisoner whenever I was around Bader. Like if I even tried anything I'd be executed. I was scared and confused. I didn't know what to do.
The next day Msh3al was having some of his freinds over for dinner. This happend once every week. Something like guys night.
Usualy I'd be with my family or Nawalii but I wasn't feel well that day. I think I was coming down with a cold. My nose was runny. My eyes would water every now and then. My throat was in so much pain, it felt like a ton of bricks were stuck in my throat. My whole bed was filled with cough syrup, strepsils, penadole and many other medicines. It was like a pharmacy had moved in with me. I just stayed in bed all day watching Will and Grace starting from season one.
Still my parents and Nawalii would call every now and then to check up on me. Y7lelhom.
I was scared that Bader might be downstairs. What if he was ? What if he snuck away from the crowd and came upstairs ? Would he know I was upstairs ? Would he kiss me ?
Oh yes. Yes he did. It's what he does, shows up everywhere I am.
At around 10 that night he walked in.
My heart started to race. (as always)
I could feel the heat inside my body.
He walked towards me and sat next to me on the edge of the bed. I moved a bit so that he could sit properly.
Bader: Salamtik 7beebty...
Me: Allah yslmik.
Bader: Ha keif 7asa al7een ? Inshallah a7san ?
Me: E elzmdelah shway. Ga3da a5ath adweya bs mu ga3ed yfeedni ktheer.
Bader: 7beebty inti.. wallah ga6a3ti galbi laman Msh3al gali inik merthti.
Me: La inshallah I'll be fine.
Bader: Here take two of these.
Me: Wsh tha ?
Bader: Nurofen.
Me: What does it do ?
Bader: It's a very good direct target pill.
Me: 6yb hand me the water next to you.
Bader: Yallah bshwaish.
Me: Will it happen fast.
Bader: Inshallah.
Me: Shkran Bader bs wallah you didn't have to.
Bader: Walaw.. ay shay la a7la w a'3la Jenah.
Me: Hehe..
Bader: Eeh hathal tha7ka eli knt abe ashoofah..
He pinched my cheeks and I started to blush.
Bader: Ha wsh ga3da tsween broo7ik ?
Me: Watching Will and Grace.
Bader: Ah wallah ? Amoot 3lee.
Me: Wallah ? Haha, Msh3al may6eegah !
Bader: Bag3ad ma3aki shway 3ashan ashofah.
Me: 3ashan tshoof wla 3ashan tg3ad ma3ay ?
Bader: Ag3ad m3 my Joony.
Yes, he did just call me his Joony.
Minutes later Msh3al walks in.
Once he saw us he shot Bader a look signaling him to get out.
I gulped so hard I felt like the bricks in my throat were sliding down slowly.
He shut the door and stood there just staring at me furiously.
Msh3al: Wsh kan ga3ed ysawi foug ma3aki ?
Me: Nothing. He just came and give e some pills.
Msh3al: What pills ?
Me: It targets the pain quickely. I', actualy starting to feel alot better.
Msh3al: Wallah ?
Me: Eeh wallah 7beeby.
He came and sat next to me, putting his arms around me. I rested my head on his shoulder and we interlocked hands.
He told me was sorry he got angry and that he shouldnt have over reacted.
He stayed with me for a while then got back to his guests.
Meanwhile Nawal was at Coffee Bean reading her new issue of People magazine.
This was her alone time. Getting her weekly magazine and enjoying it over a cup of Coffee.
Little did she know... she was about to get one heck of a surprise.
She was holding her coffee in one hand and the magazine in another.
All of a sudden she drops her cup and spills it all over her clothes.
She jumped up screaming !
Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at her. No one offered to help except for this man. A tall toned tanned man. Gorgeous dark brown hair. Hazel eyes. Beautifuly drawn lips. And a body to kill. He was wearing a beige colored barmoda and a white lacoste polo. The hot simple style that every girl loves.
He just ran right over and helped pick up the glass on the floor.
?: Are you ok ?
Nawal: I feel like my whole body was set on fire!
?: You'll be alright lat 5afi.
Nawal: Yeah... Thank you so much.
?: Yeah sure no pro ---
They both stopped what they were doing and froze.
When you least expect it...
Nawal: Oh my god... I don't believe it...
?: Five years...
Nawal: Five years...
?: Ummm.. you wanna take a walk ?
Nawal: Sure...
An Hour Later...
?: Hard to believe no one's snatched you up yet.
Nawal: Let's just say I haven't found the right one.
?: Arn't you with that guy ?
Nawal: No we broke up.
?: Ahh.. sorry...
Nawal: Don't be. It was the right thing.
?: So what now ?
Nawal: What do you mean what now ?
?: You know all these years I've never once stopped thinking about you.
Nawal: Really ?
?: Really... I mean Athens.. I would give anything just to be back there again with you.
Nawal: Yeah we did have an amazing time.
?: Haha remember when you flew off from the boat.
Nawal: I cannot believe you still remember that !
?: How could I not! It was one of the highlights!
Nawal: Jamal !! 7aram 3leek that is so not funny !! I still have that scar !
Jamal: Haha 5ala9 I'm sorry I'm sorry.
Nawal: Mmm hmmm...
Jamal: Uhh Nawal ?
Nawal: Na3am ?
Jamal: I really missed you. I know it's only been a couple of days but I really did.
Nawal: I missed you too...
Jamal: I don't think we bumped into eachother today by accident. I think it happend for a reason. And I wanna figuire out what that reason is.
Nawal: What are you saying Jamal ?
Jamal: I'm saying I wanna be with you. I finaly wanna be with you.
Without saying a word she hugged him.
She hugged him like it was the last moon rising.
Like tommorow would never come.
A true hug.
She didn't want to let go of him.
He's all she ever thought about. And now she finaly has him.
Friday, January 1, 2010
The Other Man 7
HAPPY NEW YEAR !! ...... I LOVE YOU ALL !! :D
Previously...
I looked up at him and we both smiled. I've never seen this smile on him before. It was like a whole new Bader. For the first time it felt like he wasn't just here to ruin my life. Like he was here to help me enjoy it.
I took myself to the edge. Closed my eyes and held on to the rail.
Bader took one of my hands off the rail and held onto it with both his hands.
What chills it gave me.
His warm hands back to interlocking with mine.
We spent several minutes up there. Not even a single word was spoken.
My eyes were closed, while his was all over me.
_____________________________
I knew he was staring at me the whole time through.
I knew he was aiming for a kiss, but I couldnt let that happen. Not again.
But I couldnt controle myself.
Especialy now since he's changed on me. He's this other Bader. For once I can actualy see his heart and soul.
We were up their for so long just staring at Paris. Taking in all it had to offer.
Bader: Jenah ?
Me: Hmm ?
Bader: .........
Me: What ?
Bader: Nevermind.
Me: You cant do that, yallah 3ad what ?
Bader: Have dinner with me tonight.
Me: Oh...
Bader: No strings attached I promise. I wont make a single move, just dinner.
Me: Just dinner ? Bader I dont think just is even in your vocabulary. There always has to be something on he side of just.
Bader: I'm serious Jenah. Besides Msh3al is working late. I dont want you to spend the whole night alone.
Me: *sigh* Ok.
Bader: Really ?
Me: Yeah really.
It was then off to the Champs-Élysées Avenue.
We strolled around the whole avenue going in and out of shops.
We laughed so hard that day, I'll never forget it.
We tried on so many random things for eachother.
In some shops we were actualy kicked out and some banned from every entering again.
Before dinner I dragged Bader inside of CHANEL with me. I had to go in. Its a must for me that whenever I see it, I must enter it. I dont even have to buy anything. I just have to go in.
I absolutley adore CHANEL.
The second I stepped in, my eyes were drawn, my whole body was drawn to this handbag.
It was from the new collection. " Chanel Coco Cocoon ".
It was simply jaw dropping.
I fell in the love with the russian red color.
I walked on over to the mirror holding it. It suited me so much !
Bader: Suits you.
Me: Nah, it's alright.
Bader: You should get it.
Me: It's not worth it.
Bader: Anything's worth it for you.
Me: Whatever let's just leave. I wanna be back before Msh3al.
We had dinner.
We laughed.
We joked.
We shared stories.
Intresting intense conversation happend.
It was nice.
I actualy had fun. I really needed this. Msh3al was working and I had nothing to do. No friends in Paris. I was alone.
I'm not saying I'm glad he crashed in, but it was good to be in company for one night.
After Dinner he walked me back home. It was a silent walk. We each were away with out thoughts...
" I know what Im doing is wrong but I just cant help myself when I'm around her. She's beautiful and smart and funny. How could Msh3al not want to leave work and be with her? 7aram 7azanatny, I just wanted her to have a day of fun. That smile a555 bs that adorable little smile. Those adorable little dimples. What I wouldnt kill to just get a simple kiss on the cheeck from her. "
" Why do I feel so guilty? Nothing happend. We just talked and laughed. I'm innocent here, well ok maybe not entirely innocent but... oh damn it! "
He insisted on taking me up to my door but I refused. I didnt want Msh3al seeing us together. I didnt even know if he knew Bader was here.
We said goodnight at the opposite side of the street and parted ways.
I actualy thought he was going to kiss me. I was so nervouse yet excited at the same time. But once he didnt, I died inside. For once I was prepared, ready for a kiss.
Oh well, I guess it was for the best. But was it though ?
7beeby was already home.
Msh3al: Hallah walah bl zain.. t3ali give me a kiss.
Me: Hallah 7beeby.
Msh3al: Wain knty? Sha'3alt 3leeki laman ma shftik.
Me: I was out for a bit.
Msh3al: Did you have fun ?
Me: Yeah.. you know what I did.
Msh3al: Aham shay. 6yb ana bt5l atrwawash.. wanna join me ? *smirk*
Me: Haha why not. I'll be right there.
Msh3al: A555 feeki bs. Amoot feeki ya ba3ad el kl.
That night we had sex.
Mind blowing sex.
During it all I kept thinking was that what I was doing was wrong and that I had to end it with Bader.
I didnt know what was going on between us. But whatever it was, I had to put a stop to it before things go too far.
Msh3al 7beeby w amoot feeh. I would never want to hurt him.
Everything he's doing, he's doing for me. All just to keep a smile on my face.
I had a perfect marriage. Why did I want to screw it all up ? For what ? A passionate kiss with a total stranger ?
But oh what a kiss it was.
The next day 7beeby and I woke up extra earlier to go sailing.
While he was in the shower I got a knock at the door.
Me: Good morning. Can I help you ?
Bellboy: This has just been delievered for you.
Me: Me? Well who's it from ?
Bellboy: The gentelman did not say.
Me: Gentleman? Umm ok thank you.
Bellboy: Have a nice day.
A black and white bag.
With a black box inside.
I couldnt believe what my eyes were seeing.
He actualy got it for me.
Inside the note, it read...
Your worth everything...
Previously...
I looked up at him and we both smiled. I've never seen this smile on him before. It was like a whole new Bader. For the first time it felt like he wasn't just here to ruin my life. Like he was here to help me enjoy it.
I took myself to the edge. Closed my eyes and held on to the rail.
Bader took one of my hands off the rail and held onto it with both his hands.
What chills it gave me.
His warm hands back to interlocking with mine.
We spent several minutes up there. Not even a single word was spoken.
My eyes were closed, while his was all over me.
_____________________________
I knew he was staring at me the whole time through.
I knew he was aiming for a kiss, but I couldnt let that happen. Not again.
But I couldnt controle myself.
Especialy now since he's changed on me. He's this other Bader. For once I can actualy see his heart and soul.
We were up their for so long just staring at Paris. Taking in all it had to offer.
Bader: Jenah ?
Me: Hmm ?
Bader: .........
Me: What ?
Bader: Nevermind.
Me: You cant do that, yallah 3ad what ?
Bader: Have dinner with me tonight.
Me: Oh...
Bader: No strings attached I promise. I wont make a single move, just dinner.
Me: Just dinner ? Bader I dont think just is even in your vocabulary. There always has to be something on he side of just.
Bader: I'm serious Jenah. Besides Msh3al is working late. I dont want you to spend the whole night alone.
Me: *sigh* Ok.
Bader: Really ?
Me: Yeah really.
It was then off to the Champs-Élysées Avenue.
We strolled around the whole avenue going in and out of shops.
We laughed so hard that day, I'll never forget it.
We tried on so many random things for eachother.
In some shops we were actualy kicked out and some banned from every entering again.
Before dinner I dragged Bader inside of CHANEL with me. I had to go in. Its a must for me that whenever I see it, I must enter it. I dont even have to buy anything. I just have to go in.
I absolutley adore CHANEL.
The second I stepped in, my eyes were drawn, my whole body was drawn to this handbag.
It was from the new collection. " Chanel Coco Cocoon ".
It was simply jaw dropping.
I fell in the love with the russian red color.
I walked on over to the mirror holding it. It suited me so much !
Bader: Suits you.
Me: Nah, it's alright.
Bader: You should get it.
Me: It's not worth it.
Bader: Anything's worth it for you.
Me: Whatever let's just leave. I wanna be back before Msh3al.
We had dinner.
We laughed.
We joked.
We shared stories.
Intresting intense conversation happend.
It was nice.
I actualy had fun. I really needed this. Msh3al was working and I had nothing to do. No friends in Paris. I was alone.
I'm not saying I'm glad he crashed in, but it was good to be in company for one night.
After Dinner he walked me back home. It was a silent walk. We each were away with out thoughts...
" I know what Im doing is wrong but I just cant help myself when I'm around her. She's beautiful and smart and funny. How could Msh3al not want to leave work and be with her? 7aram 7azanatny, I just wanted her to have a day of fun. That smile a555 bs that adorable little smile. Those adorable little dimples. What I wouldnt kill to just get a simple kiss on the cheeck from her. "
" Why do I feel so guilty? Nothing happend. We just talked and laughed. I'm innocent here, well ok maybe not entirely innocent but... oh damn it! "
He insisted on taking me up to my door but I refused. I didnt want Msh3al seeing us together. I didnt even know if he knew Bader was here.
We said goodnight at the opposite side of the street and parted ways.
I actualy thought he was going to kiss me. I was so nervouse yet excited at the same time. But once he didnt, I died inside. For once I was prepared, ready for a kiss.
Oh well, I guess it was for the best. But was it though ?
7beeby was already home.
Msh3al: Hallah walah bl zain.. t3ali give me a kiss.
Me: Hallah 7beeby.
Msh3al: Wain knty? Sha'3alt 3leeki laman ma shftik.
Me: I was out for a bit.
Msh3al: Did you have fun ?
Me: Yeah.. you know what I did.
Msh3al: Aham shay. 6yb ana bt5l atrwawash.. wanna join me ? *smirk*
Me: Haha why not. I'll be right there.
Msh3al: A555 feeki bs. Amoot feeki ya ba3ad el kl.
That night we had sex.
Mind blowing sex.
During it all I kept thinking was that what I was doing was wrong and that I had to end it with Bader.
I didnt know what was going on between us. But whatever it was, I had to put a stop to it before things go too far.
Msh3al 7beeby w amoot feeh. I would never want to hurt him.
Everything he's doing, he's doing for me. All just to keep a smile on my face.
I had a perfect marriage. Why did I want to screw it all up ? For what ? A passionate kiss with a total stranger ?
But oh what a kiss it was.
The next day 7beeby and I woke up extra earlier to go sailing.
While he was in the shower I got a knock at the door.
Me: Good morning. Can I help you ?
Bellboy: This has just been delievered for you.
Me: Me? Well who's it from ?
Bellboy: The gentelman did not say.
Me: Gentleman? Umm ok thank you.
Bellboy: Have a nice day.
A black and white bag.
With a black box inside.
I couldnt believe what my eyes were seeing.
He actualy got it for me.
Inside the note, it read...
Your worth everything...
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