The Other Man 26

Me: Meshoo I need to talk to you about something....

Msh3al: You ok ?

Me: No not really... Umm latley I've been having dreams abotu Bader.

Msh3al: 6yb thats normal.. since you miss him and all...

Me: Yeah but yesterdays dream was way freaky. Remember when i went to the bakery? Well as I waited I dozed off... And I had a small dream about Bader.. He was the owner of the bakery.. and then the next morning after the birthday.. he left me a cupcake on the doorstep..

Msh3al: How how long have you been having dreams about him ?

Me: Uhhh a month...

Msh3al: Jay I know your gonna hate what I have to say but why not talk to someone ?

Me: I'm talking to you.

Msh3al: No I mean a professional..

Me: No way.. shrinks are for crazy people..

Msh3al: It was just a suggestion..





Why?? Why?? Why??

Why is this happening to me?

Why cant he just leave me alone?

He's out of my life now so why is he now haunting me in my dreams?

He's the one who left me !

I should be in peace now!

He should be the one with the dreams !

I still can't believe how my life has turned out...

Msh3al let me go so I could be with the man I ... umm loved?

And he let me go...

So now here I am..

Divorced.

And all alone.

Bs aham shay I have Noufy.. wallah mdri wsh asawi min '3airha. 7beebty !

But the most Im gonna take out of that day is that Noufy had fun..

She's the jewl of my eye.. if she's happy then thats all I need !



A few days passed by and I'd still been dreaming about Bader..

I couldnt take it anymore..

I decided not to spread the word... I decided to go see someone.

I was always against shrinks.

Talking to a stranger about all my problems. But if it's what's gonna get Bader out of my head then its what I got to do.



Me: So you came here all the way from the UK ?

Anne: Yes thats correct.

Me: Aha so tell me a little bit about yourself.

Anne: Ummm...

Me: Oh Im sorry .. I'm new at this ...

Anne: Your nervous its ok.

Me: Ok so what do you wanna know ?

Anne: Why are you here Jenah ?

Me: Well latley I've been having dreams.. ALOT of dreams about this guy...

Anne: I need you to take me back to the past..



I told her about everything. My marriage with Msh3al. My affair with Bader. The divorce. How Bader broke my heart. Nouf. Every little detail. I was surprised how I could do all that in a one hour session.



Anne: What do you think you should do ?

Me: I was hoping you could tell me that.

Anne: I'm not here to provide you with the answers Jenah. I'm here to help you find them.

Me: Well Im blank.

Anne: It's not that simple. One session wont allow me to help you.

Me: Oh so Im supposed to come here everyday?

Anne: Thats entirly up to you.

Me: I'm just scared.

Anne: What about ? That you might actualy figuire out what you finaly want ?

Me: Maybe.. I dunno...

Anne: I cant force you to do anything Jenah. But if you'd like, I could see you this time tommorow.

Me: Let me sleep on it.



Why is it so easy to open up to shrinks than it is to our family or friends?

I actualy felt comfortable talking to her.

I was kinda hoping one session would do it all.. but I guess its gonna take more than that.

But what did she mean when she said "...finaly what you want" ?

Was she talking about Msh3al or Bader ?

Or maybe someone else ?

The next afternoon I decided to go and see her.

I went to see her every other day for the next two weeks.

I've started to feel at ease when I was around her. Like everything was going to be ok. But the peoblem was when I left her office.

I felt like a wreck since the dreams have started.

Sometimes I would pick up the phone and start to dial his number. But I'd come to senses and hang up.






Msh3al and I were friends. We've left the past behind and moved on.

But I dunno why I did what I did...

I asked him out to dinner.

I didn't know wether it was a date or just dinner as friends. All I know is I wanted to go out. And he seemed like the perfect company.



Msh3al: This is weird..

Me: What is ?

Msh3al: You and me out to dinner...

Me: So?

Msh3al: Our favorite little romantic french restuarant.

Me: Oh...

Msh3al: No no dont get me wrong. Bel3ax.. either way I was eventualy gonna ask to go out with you..

Me: Ummm...

Msh3al: As friends ofcourse...

Me: So how's work ?

Msh3al: Really ?

Me: I dunno this is kinda awkward..

Msh3al: Jenah.. look at me... It's me and it's you. Us. Nothing can ever be awkward between us.



It felt good.. and kinda right being out with Msh3al that night.

I needed a night.

Besides he was the father of my child, so nothing wrong with the two parents having dinner right ?

Anne said that I missed Msh3al and wanted to re-connect with him, but on a ground level.

She said I needed to establish a stronger relationship with him, since he's Nouf's father and all.



The weird thing was when Msh3al told me he was going out on a date with his friends sister.

Ok.. isnt that kind of weird/gross ? Well to me it is !

Was a jelouse ?

I dunno. All I know is that I did NOT like the idea of him dating.

Anne said it was jelousy.

But there is absolutly no reason for me to jelouse right ?

Were HAPPILY divorced.

He can go off and get married for all I care !



Msh3al: Ok so how do I look ?

Me: You came all the way over here to get my approval on your clothes ?

Msh3al: Yallah 3ad Jenah I'm metting Jude in half an hour !

Me: Haha its kinda similar to my name !

Msh3al: Aha yeah ok. So do I look ok ?

Me: Uff yeah you look fine !



I crossed my arms and gave him my back.

He tried asking me what was wrong but all I did was shrug.

For some reason, that night, I really felt like calling Bader.

The only problem is I know I would regret it in the morning.

I met up with Nawal the next afternoon.

She was in Boston with Jamal for a month.

She wanted to take a buisness class there.

Turns out Bader was working there, and she ran into him a couple of times.

He would ask about me.

He also begged for my number but Nawal wouldnt.

She said he was coming back to visit his dad for a week and that he wanted to see me.

My heart starting racing.

I didnt want him to come back.

Anne was finaly helping me get passed him.

Him coming back would ruin everything.

Nawal comforted me telling me that she'll cover for me saying that I was out of town with Nouf.

I love this girl ! She's always there for me when I need her the most.



That same night Msh3al and I stayed up late after Nouf went to bed.

And....